Transcript 0:00 [upbeat music] Welcome back to the Peggy Smedley Show, the podcasting voice of IoT and digital transformation. Hello, listeners, and welcome back to the Peggy Smedley Show. 0:15 My next guest has the unique ability to help those who need it and to help those who want help, and that means he's a special kind of guy, and he's a show regular. 0:25 Please welcome back James Arthur Ray, entrepreneur, au-au-author, life and business coach. James, welcome back to the show. Hey, Peggy. Thanks for having me. It's great to be here. You know what? 0:38 It feels like I haven't talked to you in so long, and it's just been a short while. But you know what? I love when you're on the show, as always. So how have you been? I've been, been really good. 0:48 Been busy, have lots of, lots of new things going on, which is exciting, and always, uh, more, uh, just not enough day, uh, not enough time at the end of the day, I should say- I-... 0:59 [chuckles] uh, with all the things I need to get done, wanna get done. I'm telling you, that's always a good thing, right? That is a good thing. Let's talk about what's going on in today's world. You know what? 1:08 I think the... Uh, you know, I've been talking about a lot of things lately too, like you have, and... But I wanna talk about what's going on with people. You know, people today, we're trying to get them motivated. 1:22 We're trying to find out what's the number one problem, I, I think in, in leading, in, in people's lives, in keeping them successful. 1:31 You know, I've been doing a lot of different shows on distracted driving, autonomous, uh, vehicles, um, keeping our best people, keeping them focused on the job and, and just a lot of things. 1:44 And you cover a lot of different things when it comes to technology and understanding motivating people, and I thought, you know, in your mind, what's the number one problem in today's world kinda keeping people from leading both their life and business more successfully? 1:58 Because I think we're seeing people aren't happy. I mean, we see it in the news media. We've seen people are just leaving their jobs without giving proper notice. We... 2:09 Just seems to be that it just seems to be at one minute they're happy and one minute they're not. What do we gotta do to keep both our life, life-life, personal life, and our business life successful? Well, [chuckles] 2:24 we don't have enough time to, to really cover all of that because- [laughs]... it's a very, very deep problem, obviously, and you've hit on a lot of hot issues that I could talk on forever and a day. 2:35 But the bottom line is, um... Well, let me give you two things. Fear is the problem. 2:41 Number two, and, and the cause of that fear is that, and this is gonna be a shocker for some of your listeners, but it's true nonetheless, is that very few people think for themselves. Oh. 2:53 They think they think, but they don't really think. What, what they're really doing is running a socialized mind, a mass mentality, a conditioning that's been handed to them between the ages of birth and 13 years of age. 3:11 And, and behavioral scientific evidence backs this up. Most of us change very little after about 13. 3:18 So Peggy, what that means is that you and I are interacting every single day with people in bodies that are 30, 40, 50, 60 years old, but they're literally 13 years old inside. 3:30 And when we think we think, we're not really thinking. We're just reacting. 3:35 So basically what we're, we're struggling with is that emotional side of some people, and some people are very strong inside, and some people are very, uh, weak inside based on what happened up to that age of 13, is what you're describing. 3:52 So what we have to do is understand how to deal with those people and that emotional, whether it's strength or weakness or whatever it might be, so we, who's ever dealing with them, has to know how to deal with that. 4:06 So what's then the cure, so to speak? 4:08 I mean, you, you really as the individual dealing with specific people have to know how to manage that, how to work with that, and how to be around that type of an environment where people are different all, all emotionally. 4:23 Well, um, yes, and, you know, regardless of whether I'm coaching a Fortune 500 CEO or a startup entrepreneur or anything in between, what I invest probably 95% of my time in doing, most of them want to hire me for strategy. 4:43 And I can give you leadership and business strategy, and, you know, the internet is full of strategies, and social media is full of strategies, a lot of them bogus. Download this, this- [chuckles]... 4:54 you know, swipe file. Get my magic blueprint. All of those things. And everyone's looking for a strategy- You mean Walmart is not going to give me a free TV every time I see it on the internet? 5:04 I just thought that was true. Probably not. Probably not. 5:08 [chuckles] But, but, you know, the reality is, is that success in both life and business, and this is in every area, financial, relational, mental, physical, spiritual, is about 95% psychology and about 5% strategy. 5:24 Now, please understand, I'm not suggesting strategies aren't important. They are. 5:28 But I learned as a C-suite consultant at AT&T School of Business years ago that I can give you the latest and greatest strategies, and you can go, "Uh-huh, this is, this is great. 5:39 This is amazing," and you'll leave the room and do the very same thing you did before you came in, unless you change the foundation upon which that is laid, if, if you follow that metaphor. The foundation is the cause. 5:54 Your psychology is the cause. That's your innermost, uh, thoughts and feelings. And so-idea about we don't think for ourselves. You know, we like to think we have free choice, and we don't. We really don't. 6:09 I mean, freedom to choose is not doing what you want. Freedom to choose is choosing what you want. It... Oh- Now, here- There you go. 6:19 That's a great way of saying it, because that is very true, and I think a lot of people want to be told how to think because they don't want that freedom. I think that's been the problem. 6:28 Yeah, and, and we've been conditioned... Let's face it, we've been conditioned since we were a child that economics is gonna solve everything. Well, it... that's just not true. 6:38 Our economic prowess is, is m- multiples of tens times better. Our s- our standard of living is multiple of 10 times better than it was, you know, just, just in the '50s and earlier, but we're not any better. 6:54 Every 20 minutes, someone commits suicide, you know. One out of six people are, are absolutely addicted to antidepressants, and you, you alluded to some of these things earlier. 7:05 So if it was economy that was going to solve it, it would have been solved by now. And, and so we've gotta step back, and the, the real solution is self-awareness, you know, and that starts with self-observation. 7:19 Why do I want a Mercedes versus a Volkswagen, for instance? Is it really gonna get me there any better? Um, you know, and I'm not, I'm not against Mercedes. I've had plenty of them. 7:32 But the, but the point is that we're conditioned that certain things are valuable, sexy, and cool. Other things are not so much, and yet that's not our thoughts. 7:42 That's what we've been conditioned to believe, and you can, you can multiply that out across every single area of both life and business. So we're not thinking. You know, we're not, we're not... 7:52 We might be doing what we want, but we're not choosing what we want based upon our own self-awareness, our own values. So in looking at now when we want to think in business or whatever, we want that creative thinker. 8:06 We want someone to be thinking out for our companies. How do we find that first step to get us that creative thinker, someone who's gonna help our businesses and help themselves grow? 8:19 You said you've gotta change that foundation. How do you find that person that's gonna be the right one? 8:25 What's that first cue that says, "Here's the first step to help you find that right person," or that is the right person that you want? 8:32 Well, you know, [laughs] this might sound self-serving, Peggy, but it's true nonetheless, and, and Forbes Magazine has backed this up. You need an outside coach. 8:43 You just do, because we can't take an objective position on our own nonsense. I, I'll give you this, a quick example. I was talking to a very successful business owner, a 30 to $40 million business owner. 8:58 He's, he's talking about bringing me in to work with his team, and he's giving me all the right, the right, you know, answers. "Oh, I want my team to connect. We value teamwork." You know, so on and so forth. 9:10 And I, I ask him a question, "Do you have, uh, operating values in your company?" "No, no. No, we don't." "Do you have a clarified purpose, mission direction?" 9:23 "Um, well, yeah, we have this, this purpose that says we work as a team to gain the greatest return on our investment." "Okay, wait a second. 9:34 So you're telling me that you value people, you value teams, you value teamwork, you wanna make a difference in the world, but you got return on investment in your purpose." 9:44 And, and I'm not against return on investment, but I said to him then, "What would your team tell me if I were to ask them what your purpose is?" He goes, "Well, that's a good question. I don't really know." 9:57 Okay, [laughs] we've talked about this before, Peggy. Your organization, your, your company, your life is a reflection of you as the leader. As the leader of your own life, you are picturing outward who you are. 10:12 So here's this leader telling me certain things, but he's not walking the talk because he's been conditioned. It's not his fault, but it is his responsibility. Does that make sense to you? Oh, absolutely. 10:22 And so when we look at this bigger picture, we look at these new generation of leaders that are coming into companies, generations that are coming in, and society is shaping them as a whole because we as society of parents, generations are shaping this next generation. 10:43 That's what we talk about. We talk about whether they're baby boomers, whether they're millennials, whether they're Generation Zs, whatever these genera- generation-wise, you know. 10:52 Every generation is a generation that shape them. So how do you now- That's correct... 10:58 look at this and say, what as a society do we have to do differently to now encourage the next leaders to bring us into the next millennial, to bring us into the next era of what's gonna drive change, to think about changing the way we as a society think about how we do things differently? 11:17 Because right now, as a society, we're not looking so good. No, we're not. And unfortunately, Peggy, I'm... I used to believe I was an optimist, and now I tend to call myself a realistic activist. 11:31 [laughs] And I'm not a pessimist. I'm... But I'm not an optimist either. I'm a realistic activist, and that's right in the middle. 11:39 And the reality is this society probably, now anything's possible, but it's probably not gonna change until we experience enough pain. 11:50 When the current system crashes, which it will, then, then we're going to have to scramble to do something differently, and this is happening, you know, from the macro to the micro. 12:00 The 55-year-old individual listening today goes, "Oh, I don't need to step back and do... become sel- more self-aware and do self-observation and clarify my values, 'cause I have a good job and I'm making a good salary." 12:13 Well, Forbes tells us in 10 years or less, there's a 50/50 chance that job's gonna be gone. And so most people are not gonna do anyth- an- anything significantly until they experience enough pain. 12:26 Now, there's, there's exceptions to that. Well, hey, James, I, I, I got you. We're running out of time, but w- you gotta come back and talk to us more about that. 12:33 I don't wanna think about any more pain, but I agree with that. James Arthur Ray, entrepreneur, author, life and business coach, thank you for your time. And just quickly, what's your URL? 12:43 I want people to follow you as always. JamesRay, R-A-Y,.com. There's a lot of, a lot of resources there for you. All right, thank you so much, James. We appreciate your time. Keep doing great work, Peggy. 12:56 All right, thank you. Okay, listeners, we... that's all the time we have for today's show. Remember, we broadcast live every Tuesday at 12:00 PM Central. Check out our website, ThePeggySmedleyShow.com. 13:06 As always, tweet at us @ConnectewMag. This is The Peggy Smedley Show, the podcasting voice of IoT and digital transformation. And remember, with great technology comes great responsibility. Have a great week. 13:19 [upbeat music] Peggy is taking it on the road in 2019 with live audio, video, and onsite appearances. 13:36 The Peggy Smedley Show will be live at CES, World of Concrete, The International Builders' Show, Mobile World Congress, and the Steel Erector Show, covering the IoT, AI, and other emerging trends in the markets that touch your businesses. 13:52 To learn more about upcoming tour dates, visit PeggySmedleyShow.com or connectedworld.com. [upbeat music]
